Offline Mode (Currently Unavailable) Hoodie

The official uniform for people who are permanently online. The perfect hoodie for staying home and staying connected. For everyone whose offline mode has been disabled by years of chronic internet use and honestly, you're okay with it now.

This hoodie is cozy acknowledgment that you're not going outside, you're not disconnecting, and you're certainly not touching grass. You're staying right here - warm, comfortable, and perpetually online.

The Perfect Chronically Online Hoodie

Let's be real about what this hoodie is for: extended screen time sessions in maximum comfort.

You're going to wear this while:

• Scrolling for 8 hours straight on the couch
• Working from home (and never leaving home)
• Binge-watching while simultaneously scrolling three other apps
• Attending Zoom calls in your living room
• Ordering DoorDash at 2am because leaving the house isn't happening
• Living your entire life from one comfortable spot with good Wi-Fi

This isn't activewear. This is passive-wear. This is sitting-in-one-place-for-concerning-amounts-of-time-wear.

And it's specifically designed for that lifestyle.

Why This Design Belongs on a Hoodie

"Offline Mode (currently unavailable)" isn't just a shirt design - it's a lifestyle. And that lifestyle requires the right uniform.

The hoodie is perfect because:

• You're home (where offline mode doesn't exist)
• You're comfortable (prioritizing screen time over productivity)
• You're cozy (settling in for the long haul)
• You're not leaving (offline mode requires going outside)
• You're living your truth (permanently online and dressed accordingly)

Someone sees you in this hoodie, they know exactly what you're about: staying in, staying online, staying comfortable.

The Reality Check

Your offline mode is currently unavailable. It's been unavailable since smartphones became mandatory life accessories. It will remain unavailable for the foreseeable future.

You've tried to disconnect:

• Digital detoxes (lasted 3 hours)
• App timers (immediately ignored)
• Phone-free bedrooms (but your smartwatch still shows notifications)
• "Mindful" social media use (forgot within 2 minutes)
• Going outside (brought your phone, portable charger, and backup power bank)

At some point, you stopped trying. That's when you needed this hoodie.

This isn't giving up. This is accepting reality. You live online. Work is online. Friends are online. Entertainment is online. Shopping is online. Even your therapist is online (and they're concerned about your screen time).

So you might as well be comfortable while you're doing it.

Premium Comfort for Extended Online Sessions

We designed this hoodie specifically for people who measure their day in screen time rather than sunlight.

Material & Construction:

• Premium heavyweight fleece - 80/20 cotton-poly blend for warmth without weight
• Soft brushed interior - feels like a cloud designed specifically for never leaving the house
• Durable exterior - survives countless washes and 16-hour wearing sessions
• Pre-shrunk fabric - stays true to size wash after wash

Functional Features:

• Lined hood with drawstring - adjustable comfort for maximum couch optimization
• Spacious kangaroo pocket - fits phone, charger, snacks, hand-warming, existential dread
• Ribbed cuffs and waistband - keeps warmth in, keeps motivation to leave the house out
• Double-needle stitching - reinforced for durability during prolonged sitting

Design Details:

• Front: "OFFLINE MODE" in bold typography with "(currently unavailable)" in italic below
• Back: Currently Wearing Co circular logo at neck/upper back (between shoulder blades)
• Signature Logo Collection branding - premium line identification
• High-quality screen print on both front and back
• Won't crack, fade, or peel - durable prints designed to last
• Centered chest placement for front design
• Classic logo placement on back

For People Who:

Live in Hoodies:

• You own 7 hoodies and wear them in rotation
• Hoodies are your primary clothing category (pants optional)
• You've worn the same hoodie for 72 hours straight (no judgment)
• "Getting dressed" means changing hoodies

Are Permanently Home:

• Work from home, live from home, exist from home
• Your commute is from bedroom to living room
• You've forgotten what "going out clothes" means
• The outside world is a myth perpetuated by influencers

Accept Their Online Status:

• Screen time report: 11+ hours daily (and that's just your phone)
• Last time fully offline: cannot recall
• Relationship status with internet: it's complicated (but permanent)
• You're not addicted, you're just... perpetually engaged

Need Maximum Comfort:

• Long scrolling sessions require proper equipment
• Binge-watching 8 episodes needs the right uniform
• Working from your couch demands premium materials
• Being chronically online is exhausting (the hoodie helps)

Perfect For:

Everyday Wear:

• Your standard uniform for existing at home
• Work from home official attire
• Weekend plans (there are no plans)
• Date night (with your couch and streaming services)

Specific Situations:

• Wearing during 12-hour gaming sessions
• Work Zoom calls (professional from shoulders up, hoodie from shoulders down)
• Doom scrolling at 3am (the hoodie provides emotional support)
• Binge-watching entire series in one sitting
• "Going outside" (to get delivery from the door)

Perfect Gift For:

• Remote workers who haven't left home in weeks
• Gamers who measure time in loading screens
• Anyone whose screen time makes their phone concerned
• Friends who are always online (you know who they are)
• People who say "I should really disconnect" but never do
• Gen Z and Millennials embracing their digital native status
• Tech workers who live in hoodies anyway

Part of the Signature Logo Collection

This hoodie is part of our Signature Logo Collection - our premium line featuring full Currently Wearing Co branding.

What makes Signature Logo Collection special:

Front + Back Design:

• Statement message on the front ("OFFLINE MODE (currently unavailable)")
• Currently Wearing Co logo on the back (neck/upper back placement)
• Full brand representation - you're not just wearing a message, you're repping CW

Premium Positioning:

• Higher quality materials than our standard line
• More detailed construction and finishing
• Investment pieces designed to last
• Limited production runs

Brand Recognition:

• Logo on back = instant recognition
• Shows you're part of the CW community
• People know the brand when they see you coming and going
• Full 360° branding

Why the logo on back matters: When you're wearing this hoodie, you're representing Currently Wearing Co from every angle. The front tells your story ("offline mode: currently unavailable"), the back tells everyone whose story it is (Currently Wearing Co - the brand that gets it).

This isn't just a graphic hoodie. This is a branded piece from an actual streetwear brand.

Available Colors & Sizing:

Colors:

• Classic Black with white text (our signature, most popular)
• White with black text (for when you want contrast)
• Dark Gray with white text (the middle ground)
• Navy Blue in case you don't like monochrome (or are a chromatophilic)

Sizing: Unisex sizing - true to size with a relaxed, comfortable fit.

Size Guide: [Your standard sizing chart]

Pro tip: When in doubt, size up for that oversized, ultra-cozy fit that screams "I'm not going anywhere today (or tomorrow)."

The Currently Wearing Co Difference:

We make clothing for digital natives who refuse to apologize for being chronically online. This hoodie is part of our Signature Logo Collection - premium pieces featuring our full Currently Wearing Co branding on both front and back.

What makes our Signature Logo Collection special:

• Front statement design - Bold messaging that speaks your language
• Back branding - Currently Wearing Co logo for full brand representation
• Premium construction - These are investment pieces, not fast fashion
• Limited production - Quality over quantity, always

Why our hoodies are worth it:

• Premium materials - We use quality fleece because you're living in this thing
• Thoughtful design - Typography and fit tested by actual chronically online people
• Built to last - Survives your lifestyle (extensive wear, frequent washing, constant existence)
• Honest messaging - We're not here to inspire you to change, we're here to validate who you are
• Full branding - Logo on back shows you're repping the brand, not just wearing a graphic tee

We're not making hoodies that tell you to "rise and grind" or "hustle harder." We're making hoodies that say "offline mode is currently unavailable and you know what? That's fine."

Product Specifications:

Material:

• 80% cotton, 20% polyester heavyweight fleece (8 oz)
• Soft brushed interior for maximum comfort
• Durable exterior that maintains quality over time
• Pre-shrunk to minimize size changes

Features:

• Classic pullover hoodie design
• Lined hood with color-matched drawstring
• Front kangaroo pocket (phone-sized and snack-compatible)
• 1x1 athletic rib-knit cuffs and waistband with spandex
• Double-needle stitching throughout for durability
• Front pouch pocket opening reinforced

Care Instructions:

• Machine wash cold, inside out with similar colors
• Tumble dry low heat
• Do not bleach (your screen time is concerning enough)
• Do not iron directly on printed design
• Do not dry clean
• For best results, wash inside out to protect the print

Fit:

• Unisex sizing
• Relaxed, comfortable fit
• Not too baggy, not too fitted
• Perfect for layering or wearing solo
• True to size (size up for oversized look)

Why You Need This Hoodie:

Because you're not going offline. You're not disconnecting. You're not "taking a break from screens."

You're online. You've always been online. You'll remain online. And you deserve to be comfortable while doing it.

This hoodie is:

• ✓ Permission to stay in
• ✓ Validation for your screen time
• ✓ The official uniform of chronically online culture
• ✓ Maximum comfort for minimum movement
• ✓ A wearable acknowledgment that offline mode is a myth
• ✓ Quality materials for quality scrolling time

You tried offline mode. It didn't work. Now you have the hoodie.

The Vibe:

This isn't athleisure (you're not being athletic).
This isn't loungewear (you're not just lounging, you're existing).
This is chronically-online-wear - clothing designed specifically for people who live their entire lives through screens and have made peace with it.

Wear it while working. Wear it while gaming. Wear it while scrolling. Wear it while watching. Wear it while existing in that beautiful space between "productive" and "completely checked out."

This hoodie understands you. The internet raised you. This hoodie embraces that.

What People Are Saying:

"Bought this hoodie, haven't taken it off in 4 days. Screen time this week: 94 hours. The hoodie knows." - Sarah, 28

"It's perfect. I wear it for Zoom meetings. I wear it for existing. I basically live in it. 10/10 would recommend." - Marcus, 24

"I ordered this at 2am while doom scrolling. It arrived. I put it on immediately. I haven't gone outside since. Life is good." - Alex, 31

"My therapist asked about my screen time. I showed up to the (virtual) session wearing this hoodie. We had a long conversation." - Jordan, 26

"Finally, a hoodie that gets it. I'm not lazy, I'm permanently online. There's a difference." - Casey, 29

Size & Fit Details:

Model Info:

• Model is 5'9" wearing size Medium
• Relaxed fit with room for layering
• Hits at hip
• Sleeve length designed for comfort (not too long, not too short)

Fit Guide:

• For standard fit: Order your usual size
• For oversized look: Size up one size
• Between sizes? Size up for comfort
• Like it fitted? Order your usual size

Product features
- Spacious kangaroo pouch pocket keeps hands warm.
- Adjustable drawstring hood for a customizable fit.
- Knitted in one piece to minimize fabric waste.
- Medium-heavy fabric blend (50% cotton, 50% polyester) for softness and durability.
- Ethically produced using 100% US-grown cotton, ensuring sustainability.

Care instructions
- Tumble dry: medium
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed