I'm Not Chronically Online I'm Culturally Informed Shirt - Funny Internet Culture Tee - Chronically Online Meme Shirt - Digital Age Humor T-Shirt, Unisex Softstyle T-Shirt
I'm Not Chronically Online I'm Culturally Informed
Listen, there's a difference between doomscrolling at 3 AM and being a well-informed digital citizen. You don't have "screen time problems" - you're simply maintaining cultural literacy in the digital age. That's what you tell yourself, and honestly? We're here for it.
This tee is for everyone who's ever had to explain that yes, you know about that thing that happened online three minutes ago, but that doesn't make you chronically online. You're just... culturally engaged. Digitally fluent. Extremely well-versed in the discourse. Your 47 open browser tabs are research, not a problem.
Why This Shirt Gets It:
- Premium Gildan Softstyle® 64000 in buttery-soft 100% ring-spun cotton (4.5 oz/yd²)
- Modern unisex fit that works whether you're touching grass or touching your phone
- Reinforced shoulders and no side seams for comfort during extended "cultural research" sessions
- Tear-away label because you're sensitive (to tags AND discourse)
- Ribbed-knit collar that won't curl, unlike your posture after 6 hours of scrolling
Perfect For:
- People who can explain 15 different internet subcultures but can't remember where they put their keys
- Anyone who's ever said "I saw that on my feed" instead of "good morning"
- Those who consider "being online" as a legitimate hobby and skillset
- Explaining to your family that you DO go outside (your FYP just comes with you)
- Wearing to prove you're self-aware about your screen time (while checking your phone)
Technical Specs:
- Ethically grown US cotton (because even your t-shirt should have good values)
- Oeko-Tex certified for safety and quality
- Heather colors: 35% cotton, 65% polyester blend for durability
- Twill tape shoulder reinforcement (built to last through countless outfit-of-the-day posts)
You're not addicted to the internet. You're a digital anthropologist. A meme historian. A curator of viral moments. And this shirt? It's your official documentation.
Cultural Status: Extremely Informed (Maybe Too Informed)